This girl is more easily done than said...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
