Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
