I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
