i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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