I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
