well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
