there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize