She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bring me that man meat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
