yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
