I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
