Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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