Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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