Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
