I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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