the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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