i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
