omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
