grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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