Kareoke will never be a sober sport
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
