I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
farters have to be the big spoon...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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