I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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