i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
