i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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