But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
