I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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