I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are we still banned from the library?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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