Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
