He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
