I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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