Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
