But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
