margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
