Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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