Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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