Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
