I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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