Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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