their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
