ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
