It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
