O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
