Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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