You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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