So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
