OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
