CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
