just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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