I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
