I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
