Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
