You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
