My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
