thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize