i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
