shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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