There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
