Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
