Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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