She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
