My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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