How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize